The Night Before Festivus: Baltimore-Style

This is a poem adapted from The Night Before Christmas by Clement Clark Moore. In the Baltimore Ravens' Super Bowl run of 2000, guard Edwin Mulitalo coined the phrase "Festivus" in referring to the playoffs, a term taken from the popular television sitcom Seinfeld.

The Night Before Festivus

'Twas the night before Festivus, when all through Charm City
Ravens fans were stirring and even felt giddy.
The jerseys were hung by the chimney with flare,
In hopes that Joe Flacco soon would be there.

The fans were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of the playoffs danced in their heads.
And when we awoke and December 28 was the date,
We just settled down for a winter's tailgate,
When out in the end zone there arose such a clatter,
The opponent looked over to see what was the matter.

In a huddle of players that looked like a flash,
The Ravens looked ready for a hard-hitting clash.
The season had boiled down to one single game
as the players were looking for more than just fame,

And what to my wondering eyes looked intense,
For it was Ray Lewis…and the Baltimore defense.

A terrifying unit, so lively and quick,
They’ll hit you, they’ll haunt you, or even grab the pick.
More rapid than wolves these hunters they came,

And Ray whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"T-Sizzle! now, JJ! now, Bannan, Haloti!
On, Trevor! on Leonhard! on, Reed and Samari!
To the top of the mountain! to the top of the hill!
Knock them out! Get the ball! Now in for the kill!"

And then, the offense, led by a menacing line,
Came onto the field and was ready to fly.
A three-headed monster was at running back,
led by McClain, a big rumbling mack.
And Mason the veteran, with his shoulder so sore,
Kept reining in passes, one, two, three, more!

And finally, a sight so perfect, so new;
a quarterback to be proud of, a little like Johnny U.
Joe Flacco was ready to take the city by storm,
his cannon for an arm much better than norm,
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And led them downfield, the fans going berserk.

The Ravens were ready to give such a gift
to the fans of Baltimore who needed the lift.
Coach Harbaugh exclaimed, while his team looked so sleek,

"Happy Festivus to all, and we’ll see you next week."